Questioning Unhappiness

All of us have things in life we have been trying is accomplish, resolve or overcome and no matter what we’ve done, we can’t seem to make it happen. Self-help books, seminars, various techniques- the works… and still, no luck!

And how about the secret? Align mentally and emotionally with what you want and it will show up on your doorstep. But it’s not so easy, and the reason is because a two hour movie cannot reveal all the secrets of life.

I have been reading “The Key,” the most recent book by Joe Vitale (from The Secret). Joe starts of by answering the question on the mind of anyone who has read or seen The Secret: If I do what they say in the book/movie, why am I still stuck?

The book focuses on the issue of clearing: if there are things you want to accomplish or resolve, you need to clear out whatever stops you, be it beliefs, fears, inner blocks etc. I use this principle in my own approach; the first thing I do with clients is clear out the garbage from the past.

I stumbled upon something super in “The Key.” It’s called the option method (created by Mandy Evans) and it’s great for letting go of limiting beliefs and negative emotions.

According to the Option Method, behind our negative emotions lies a belief. Find the belief and you will find beliefs that don’t make much sense… and then you can let go.

All you do is ask yourself the following questions to get clear:

1. What are you unhappy about? (or upset or angry or guilty…)
2. Why are you unhappy about that? (Our reasons are beliefs)
3. What are you concerned would happen if you were not unhappy about that?
4. Do you believe that?
5. Why do you believe that?
6. What are you concerned would happen if you did not believe that?

When I did this, I found that at question 4, I did not believe it at all. I let go immediately and I didn’t need to go any further.

To your happiness!

David Kynan

David Kynan will get you there with practical cutting-edge methods for change and performance. President of Personis Coaching and Training ( and Former Vice President of the Canadian Association of NLP, David coaches, teaches and consults on how to make change happen when change is hard. He also lends his skills to individuals, professionals and businesses on topics related to strategic intervention, problem solving, marketing and sales. His expertise has landed him training and consulting contracts with companies such as Sun Life Financial, Medisca Pharmaceuticals Inc. and Pure Water Technologies. He has been featured in the Montreal Mirror, interviewed on CTV and presented on his work at the Canadian Human Rights Commission in Ottawa.

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